Nobody Taught Us How to Network. Let's Fix That.
By Guest Author Catie Holmes
Networking has a reputation problem. It's often framed as something you're either naturally good at or hopelessly bad at — when in reality, it's a skill like any other, one you build through practice and repetition.
Nova graduate Catie Holmes knows this well. Catie is the founder of Innerwork Strategies, a fractional Chief of Staff practice serving nonprofit leaders and executive directors. Her path to strategic operations wound through clinical social work, and along the way, she discovered that the same discomfort she felt networking her way into a new field is one nearly every operator faces.
In this guest post, Catie breaks down the mechanics of networking: what to do before you reach out, how to make the actual conversation count, and why volume, not perfection, is the real long game. Read on for a practical, refreshingly honest guide to building the relationships that move your career forward.
For the past few years, I've been exploring what's next for me professionally. I'm a social worker by training, and most of my peers are working toward private practice. That path isn't mine. My background spans clinical work, operations, and program management, and somewhere along the way, I realized that the thread connecting it all was supporting leaders and helping organizations run better. That realization led me to Nova and to pursuing fractional Chief of Staff roles, which meant venturing outside my professional circle to find my next chapter. My industry doesn't exactly have a built-in networking culture.
So I started reaching out to people. I was honest about where I was coming from, and sometimes I'd literally say, "I'm new to this and I appreciate you taking the time." What I kept finding was that almost everyone felt the same way. The discomfort wasn't unique to me. I saw it in one professional development cohort, then another, then another. A room full of talented, accomplished people would hit the networking section and just freeze.
Here's what I realized: most people haven't been taught the mechanics of networking. They're not sure what to say, they're afraid of being rejected or coming across as transactional, and they've never had a chance to practice in a low-stakes way. That's a solvable problem. Networking is a skill, and skills develop with use. You're not going to feel comfortable the first few times. That's not a sign you're doing it wrong.
Before you reach out to anyone
There's some internal work worth doing first:
Can you handle a non-response without spiraling?
Can you show up as yourself rather than a polished version of who you think they want to meet?
People can tell when someone is genuine and when someone isn't. Showing up with real humility, not performed humility, is one of the most effective things you can do.
This matters especially in a Chief of Staff context. You're going to be building relationships with senior leaders, board members, and people who've been in rooms you haven't been in yet. You don't need to pretend otherwise. You just need real curiosity and a willingness to learn from the conversation.
In the actual conversation
Make it about them. Ask how they work with leadership. Ask what barriers they've navigated. Ask where they're from, what they're working on — whatever's actually relevant to where the conversation goes. People love talking about their work, and you'll learn more than you expected.
Then end with something concrete. A vague "let's keep in touch" goes nowhere. Here's what that can look like:
Ask for two or three people they can introduce you to
Offer to send a link to something you mentioned in conversation
Confirm a next step, put it in your calendar, and follow through
I went to a networking event and followed up with someone I met there. A little while later, I suggested them as a speaker for one of our events and introduced them to a leader in my organization. They are now working together. That follow-up email turned into a real professional relationship for both of them, and it kept me top of mind with someone I respected.
The volume argument
If scheduling a 60-minute coffee feels like too much, it's fine to start smaller. A 20-minute call counts. Shorter conversations might serve you better than a few long ones anyway.
Three 90-minute conversations are meaningful. But ten 20- to 30-minute conversations mean ten people have you on their radar, and you have them on yours. That network compounds significantly. A short follow-up email is all it takes to keep a relationship warm:
"Thanks again for the coffee. I know you may not have anyone in mind right now, but I'll check back in a few weeks. No need to reply!"
Low lift, but it keeps you top of mind in a way that matters over time.
Have an ask
A lot of people are waiting for someone to think of them, waiting for permission. But having a specific ask actually makes it easier for the other person to help you: a referral, a connection, a heads-up about a role. Give people something to do with the goodwill they have toward you. It's generous, not pushy.
Early on, while building my own company, I had a conversation with a mentor and shared the type of executives I wanted to work with. A few weeks later, he mentioned me to someone at an event who needed exactly the kind of support I was offering. That warm introduction became my first client because I was able to share who I was looking for.
This is a long game
Networking probably won't land you your next job right away. The relationships you build now are investments in a future version of yourself, and the return is real, just not immediate.
That's a hard sell when you want results now, but if you can internalize it, you'll stop dreading every conversation and start treating each one as a small, useful thing worth doing.
I learned this firsthand when I started having virtual coffees with colleagues and realized several of them kept mentioning the same person I should connect with. When I finally reached out to her, we had so many mutual connections and enough of a shared reputation that after a single meeting, she invited me to join a grant proposal she was working on. That didn't happen because of one conversation. It happened because of years of showing up well for people who remembered it.
I'm still building this muscle. I still walk into some conversations uncertain. But I stopped waiting until I felt ready, because that wasn't coming. Practice came first.
About Guest Author Catie Holmes
Catie Holmes is the founder of Innerwork Strategies, a fractional Chief of Staff practice focused on nonprofit leaders and executive directors. With roots in clinical social work and operations, she brings a people-first lens to strategic and organizational work.
She completed her Nova Chief of Staff Certification in June of 2026.
